Of Friendships, and Endings

One of the hardest things that you will ever have to do in life is tell a friend that the friendship is no longer wanted. It is never easy to tell someone that you have shared so many events with, and have developed a bond with, that it is over. It doesn't matter if it was a short friendship, or a best friend, or how much you actually care about the person in question. Ending a friendship is never easy, and it takes a lot of heart to actually go through with it. It isn't easy, but here are a few tips as to how you can go about ending it.

The first thing to think about is if you have actually exhausted every option. Have you tried talking to your friend about the issues that you have? Have you given your friend a chance to change whatever it is that is making you end the friendship? Sometimes you just have to tell someone what is bothering you, and they will get the hint, and change their ways for the better. Most friends don't want to be a burden, and will gladly work with you to make the friendship more beneficial.

If you have tried talking the issues out, and nothing has changed, you probably need to cut that person off. There are a couple ways you can go about this, and you could either tell the friend it is over, or just let that person fade away. Chances are if you are seriously thinking about ending the friendship, you are probably not seeing this person as much anyway. Give it a week or so, and if your friend doesn't say anything, you might be able to fight the battle without firing a single shot.

However, if there is still contact between the two of you, you should tell them straight up that you are done with the friendship. Just ask your former friend to not text you, call you, or ask to hang out anymore. You are no longer friends, and tell that person why you don't want to hang out or be friends anymore. If your friend doesn't get it, just remind them of all the things that you needed changed, and weren't. Stick to your plan to end the friendship unless things change.

If you friend knows you are serious, and is willing to change, then go ahead and try to work things out if it seems like it would work. Otherwise just stick to your guns, and don't talk to your friend anymore. Try to keep things in perspective though, and don't end a friendship over a small fight, as friends will have those from time to time. If you feel like you are not getting anything out of the friendship, and you need to move on, move on.

Ending a friendship is never an easy thing to do. Not only do you not want to hurt anyone's feelings, you don't ever want something like that to happen to you. Empathy is a good thing in this case, but you have to look out for yourself first. Stay strong, and stick to your plan if you are going to end a friendship, and don't let your friend guilt you into coming back.

Some things are very hard to define, quantify or put a value to and friendship would definitely fall into this category. It is something special which you can't just acquire and then dispose of. Friendship comes in different sizes, shapes and forms, and at different times. You never know when it might happen and you can't just order it.

Of Hearts and Tigers

It has been ages now since I put into a written account some things that came to pass in the recent months. A lot of things did happen... and a lot too did not. 2009 ended without me putting any written-account about it. I thought of writing a year-end-blog of sort about it but time did not permit me.

Anyhow, I have got a little time now and here, I am chronicling my thoughts on love and tigers.

Last Friday was Valentines Day (or Single's Awareness Day to some, me included), and Chinese New year at the same time. I just spent the day with one of my best friends, Jopat. We were supposed to have a single's dinner, but Ian, another best friend of ours went to Baguio to spend the weekend there. Our other friends were not available as well, so we decided to change plans. We instead went to a friend's mom's birthday bash in Quezon City. That was how I spent the twin holidays of February 14, 2010.

So, Chinese New Year and valentines, huh!

They say The Metal Tiger is a violent year, with most weapons made of metal, and many Fung Shui experts say that a double holiday like that of last Sunday is actually not so good. But despite this, I think it’s rather poetic that the day of love should fall on the start of a new year. It’s almost as if the singles are reminded that they can always make a new start, especially when it comes to love. And for those who are happily in love, it’s a reminder to be thankful that another year has been given, for them to spend happily together.

As for me, I’m just grateful that love is in my life in spades – from family, friends, and my baby whale. Not that I don’t get negative energy from haters, because I do too, but having the good stuff, somehow insulates you from the bad. So welcome, metal tiger! We’ll find a way of co-existing with each other with a minimum of violence, and be nice, okay?