Of Mismatches Made in Heaven & Wishes Made Upon Someone Else's Star - Chronicles of Unrequited Love (Part 4)

In your hands is a very precious creation so fragile, so valuable that if you keep on holding it, it either stays or falls apart. But you love this creature so much that letting it go would be comparable to letting go of your life as well, so much that sometimes you wished it would always be there, so much that you tend to be selfish so as you could make it stay for as long as you want.

There comes a time in our lives we chance upon someone so nice and almost perfect and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attached to that person (sometimes even without realizing it). This feeling soon becomes a part of our daily lives and eventually guzzles our thoughts and actions to the extent that we lable it as one of those too-good-to-be-true- things. Then, in our desperate attempt to get closer, our efforts are still futile and we still feel sorry for ourselves.

I heard it said, “Never let your heart run your life". As much as you can, always be sensible and let your mind speak for itself. Try to listen not merely on what your feelings are evoking, but more importantly listen to reason as well. Letting go of someone doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow the person to find his/her own happiness without expecting him to come back or in some worse cases, love you back.

Letting go is not just letting the other person free in the real sense of it, but it is also setting yourself free from all animosities, hostility, and resentments that have been lingering long in your heart. You have to let go because the bitterness often diminishes the strength and weakens the little hope left, making our lives more miserable than ever.

If I lost you today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If I lost love that doesn't mean I failed in love, probably it was another mismatch in heaven.…or I just might have wished on someone else’s star.

Where Have All the Sea Turtles Gone?

Posted on my Friendster Blog - February 2, 2008.

Also posted on my friend, Jayson's blog site with consent : ).

Earlier at work my boss (and a friend), Jayson just out of no where asked me – “Where are the stuff you brought for us from Palawan?”. Kind of funny but the trip he was referring to was over a year ago and that I was not able to return to work for a long time after my vacation leave. He told me, that maybe it is now high time I gave them away. Preceding the trip was the dreadful day of the accident that changed my life forever. It was not after five long months that I was able to report back to work. After he popped the question, I had a quick flash back of the not so distant past. I bought miniature sea turtles from our final stop on our five-day getaway to Palawan last year. As I had my encounter with the red dump truck after the day we came back to Manila, I ended up being confined in room 618 of the World Citi Hospital. The small sea turtles? They ended up all crammed up in a shoe box under my bed. After two months, I was discharged from the hospital. They remained under my bed. After three months I was welcomed back to the office and I started to slowly get back to my office routines. My turtles are still under my bed. I am somehow a lot better now. My life is now back to normal by some means. My turtles? To this day, they are still under my bed, heaving up inside a box – all twenty-something of them.
“I don’t know.” I told Jayson rather jokingly but half-meant. “I might break down if I opened the box and see the small sea turtles.”
He said, “Tell yourself that you came to live this day to be able to give them to those whom they are supposed to go to.”
I am still struggling inside, resentful of my tragedy. I have not reached the point where I am able to embrace and accept my misfortune and the changes it has brought me. I am not yet there. Or will I ever be there?
For whatever it's worth, I reckon it made a lot of sense to me - I came to live this day to give my little Palawan turtles to whom they are supposed to go. I like this bit – I came to live this day.
So tonight, I will pull out the box under my bed and bravely open it. Well, I have not liberated myself from the aftereffects of the accident as of yet. But maybe I can start from setting the sea turtles free.